Do you always feel tired? Not like I need to sleep tired but the I'm bored tired? If yes, I totally understand how you feel excluding the hormonal pill I'm on and the dull foggy weather outside right about now. Sometimes I just can't shake that neutral, dreary, drab, numb, whatever you want to call it feeling that sits in the back of my throat and deep inside my chest. I want to get up and shout and dance around til it flies away but it stays there like a shadow even the darkness can't hide. I know what you're thinking; depression. I promise you I'm not some hermit girl hiding behind her computer who thinks the world is full of shit and wants to "13 reasons why" commit suicide but I won't lie and say that I'm not some form of depressed right now. Sometimes I just wish my life was as poetic as a sunset emoji, beautiful and tragic. Tragic because there's a realisation that the sun never really sets and that you live in borrowed time.
So why do we live unfulfilled lives wishing we could just sleep our worries away? that's so mediocre and plain. Shouldn't we be out exploring the world, taking crazy photos and eating strange foods, pondering the universe and contemplating what in the heck we are supposed to do with our lives after our adventures end and we need to go back to the 9-5 life filling the pockets of some other asshole while we daydream at our desks about our next pay check and very distant holidays we only wish we could afford?
I'm about 20 days and 12 hours away from embarking on my 11 week journey to fly cross country to my boyfriend in the UK and then backpack around Europe for 10 weeks..shouldn't I be ecstatic, jumping for joy and or already packing my suitcase for an adventure of a lifetime? well yeah to the packing my suitcase part but jumping for joy? not so much right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm plenty excited but a part of me is also just bored. I've been planning this for ages and it's not perfect but I think we have the itinerary set but I somewhat feel like I'm not ready to take the leap. Which is utter bullshit since only 1 year ago I went to Italy and Spain solo and dealt with food poisoning and I was just fine but for some reason now I'm semi-freaking-out about this trip? I swear the amount of questions marks I use is annoying even to me. I apologise a little bit late. Sorry. Ah screw your apology I'm not sorry I'm totally a blubbering mess right now. You clicked on my post so if this sucks it's totally your fault...I'm so not accepting any responsibility for being a hormonal bitch, I blame Norimin for making me feel like shit.
Anyway, as you can see you're not the only one with problems, it's how you use your problems to make solutions. In my case I'm focusing on laying in beaches in Croatia and Greece too keep out those "let me sleep forever" feelings I'm having and maybe you should do the same. As you can tell this blog is weird hence the name Travellers Regret. Which I'll explain why I called it that. Travellers regret is the post-holiday feelings you get after the adventure has finished and you look back wishing you knew this or did that etc. The point of this blog is so you DON'T get travellers regret although it's sometimes impossible to not feel it somewhere along the way.
Alright bye,
Anna